Author Archive
Bullying
This past weekend I had the privilege of speaking at the iParenting Seminar in North Richland Hills. It was a privilege to work with several other non-profits and 4 school districts, one private school, & a church to put on a seminar for parents dealing with the transition years for their students.
Below are the slides from my presentation. I hope to add audio later to make it more clear what I am talking about but for now hopefully it will help you recognize bullying and if your child is bullied, as well as give you some practical ways to address this issue.
The resources listed are as follows:
The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander by Barbara Coloroso
Bullying, Then vs Now
(This is a guest post from our Executive Director, Chris Hatchett. It is taken from our most recent newsletter.)
The recent news reports on bullying have been shocking. One day there is a local article about a teen committing suicide in our area. This week the media has been following the case in the Northeast where they are actually indicting the teenagers who did the bullying. Teen Lifeline has great interest in this subject, as it is our goal to help teens on both sides of this issue. Bullying has always been present. The difference is that when I was in school, you could get away from the bullies. Today’s teens have few boundaries. Bullying that starts at school continues via cell phone or social networking. It can seem overwhelming – often leaving teens so helpless that suicide seems like their only way out.
Through our cell groups, Teen Lifeline gives hope to teens, helping them identify resources they can depend on for help – as well as developing the tools they need to cope with the stressors in their lives. In addition, we are working on a specific four-week curriculum that can be taught in churches or schools to help address the anger management issues that often lead to bullying. If you or someone you know is affected by this issue – please contact us. We want to help.
Resource Awareness
I have recently been spending a lot of time researching and locating resources. Specifically in the Fort Worth area. This process has helped me realize that there a lot of people out there needing resources and in many cases the resources are available. The problem is that it is hard to find many of them. Using an internet search leads to a long list of hits and confusing links to weed through.
Because of this I wanted to put out some guidelines I use when searching for resources helpful to teens and families.
1. Use your relationships with people to find resources. This is really the best way. By asking people who have been there (other parents) or people who work in the mental health or rehab field you will quickly find options to contact.
2. Search for related services that might be able to point you in the right direction. For example, you may not need a rehab facility but if you call them, they could refer you to other services. Even something like calling a local hospital may be helpful.
3. Think simple. You don’t have to use clinical terms to find “therapeutic rehabilitation facilities for adolescents”. You can simply search for difficult teen, teen challenge, or dealing with a teen and find resources that may be helpful.
4. Check out the resource. Not everyone is helpful or has been checked out. I recommend calling and/or visiting any resource you find before committing. Along with this I recommend checking out multiple places for comparison sake. You may find that you didn’t think of things to ask until you learn what else could be included.
If you still feel like you aren’t finding what you are looking for, here are some resources I frequently recommend.
ACH Services – Established in 1915, ACH offers lots of options for helping youth and families. Including a 24 hour toll free number 1.888.296.8099.
Sundance Behavioral Health Center – Offer classes for teens and parents on a multitude of issues.
Teen Challenge – A national faith based organization that works especially with drug issues for youth and adults.
You can also refer to our Resources page, as we try to keep this up to date with new resources we find.
For those that read, I recommend Donald Miller’s new book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. I have not read anything like it in terms of helping you and your teen be intentional with how you live. Be informed, this is not a parenting book, it is a book about paying attention to how we live.
Leave a comment, letting us know how these things help you Live Life Better.
Being a Parent, Teen or Adult
This past Sunday we had our monthly Teen Parent meeting. We dicussed scenes from the MTV show Teen Mom. It is probably worth your time to watch at least the summary episode if you know a teen parent.
The interesting thing to me was that I found many of the things we talked about didn’t just relate to being a parent as a teenager. They were applicable to all parents, the difference for teens is the fact that they have so much life ahead of them.
For example, one thing they talked about centered around relationship problems for these young couples. WOW did that relate to me. I had no idea how much having kids would change the relationship I have with my wife. For many teens, especially the girl, they think that having a baby will give them security in their relationship. What happens too often is the guy realizes how hard having a kid is and without a marriage to be committed to he bails. Oh, he still cares for the baby and senses some responsibility but he is more interested in having someone that will focus on him and not the kids.
This leads to the second thing. I was in agreement at how different guys and girls attatchment to the new baby is. As men we feel a strong love but not nearly what the mom feels. One teen described it as an obligation that is sometimes a lot of fun and sometimes sucks. I can see this and I could definitely see it if I had kids in my teen years. What has to happen no matter when you have kids is to realize this is a choice you made and you have a responsibility to care for your whole family. As a man it is up to me to provide, keep safe, and raise my children to be good caring people and at the same time to continue to cherish my wife as I promised I would in our marriage vows.
The next piece that I noticed hit home more than the rest. It was how selfish some of the teen parents were. They wore their selfishness on their sleeve and had no remorse for saying they have a right to still be a teenager and go out and date, etc. The reality is that once you have kids, no matter what age, you give up your right to be selfish in the same way. You have chosen, like it or not, to be a parent and you are now responsible for another life. It is up to you to take care of that life as a mother and a father. Everything else is out the window.
Some poistives I saw were an emphasis on having a mom and dad. It is so important to have both. Some of these kids ended up where they are because they didn’t have a good model of what a caring loving relationship is. The other thing was encouraging these parents to have good support they can trust. Use that support to take breaks and take time for yourself. Yes this baby is your responsibility but if you don’t take care of yourself you will likely do a poor job caring for the baby as well.
SUMMARY.
- Parenting is the hardest and best thing you will ever do, don’t make it harder by getting pregnant before finishing high school.
- Certainly don’t try to do it alone.
- Be sure the relationship you’re in is able to hold up to being completely turned upside down with the addition of a beautiful new baby.
These are the kind of things that lead to a Life Lived Better, and that’s what we are all about.
To Save a Life Movie
Just a short post with more of a review to come. My wife and I recently had the opportunity to go see the To Save a Life movie. I was somewhat skeptical as it is a low budget film. However, the producers left nothing to be imagined. They tackled tough teen issues and didn’t leave out any of the details.
Here’s the trailer:
As we watched I thought how tough it must be for teenagers to deal with the pressures they do every day. I also thought about how many parents live in denial or are so checked out of their teens life that they have no idea what the teen is going through.
I have encountered many parents that say “They’re really a good kid”, I understand what they mean but I have found myself thinking, “No they aren’t”. No one is naturally good, we have to work at being good every day and teenagers have to be taught how to be good by mentors, parents, teachers, & coaches. If they don’t receive this guidance it makes it tough for them to be a good person as they grow up.
If you haven’t seen the movie, don’t put it off. It is well worth the money and time and movies like this need the support of us as movie goers. Click this link to Fandango to find local times and locations. To Save a Life movie
