Character Counts?

I spent some time last semester volunteering at the local high school. I try to do this at the beginning of every year because it allows me to connect with the administration, students, and often meet parents.

This year I sat at a table making copies of utility bills so that the school could verify residency in the district and occasionally made small talk with the student and their parent. It was a fairly uneventful few days but the relationships that are fostered are well worth the time.

Last Spring I was invited to be on a task force to address the issue of bullying in the schools. Really it was to address the issue of character and respect for those around you and a result of that would be that bullying would be less likely to happen.

With that conversation in the back of my mind it really stood out to me when I was sitting at my table and one of the principles brought around cold drinks to all the volunteers and staff working registration. It wasn’t a cart of drinks  that had just been sitting out, it was iced down cold cokes and water that someone had taken the time to prepare for a refreshing afternoon thirst quencher. To me that was a pretty big deal. Then another day, I and several others were staying through lunch and another principle came around asking if we wanted pizza and a drink and bringing it out to those of us that never turn down a free meal.

This may not sound like a big deal to you but I believe it is and here’s why. If we as a culture see that students are having difficulty recognizing how to respect those around them and what it means to be a person of character, we have to first look in the mirror and see if we are modeling those traits for them. Whether they realized it or not, that is what these principles were doing, modeling. There were many students there the last day registering and helping out, and for them to see that even the principles (the authority) were willing to serve those around them is a really BIG deal.

Going through this school year my hope is that you will look for ways to serve those around you and realize that a BIG part of what you are doing is modeling what it means to respect others and to have character. In all this you are choosing to Live Life Better and at the same time you are making someone else’s life better as well.

Are you doing TOO MUCH for your kids?

Is that even possible as a parent? Of course it is. I see it happen often where parents continue to try to do things for their children that they should be able to do on their own. I guess this hit home with me when my son came home with a report card that said he wasn’t able to zip his own coat (or maybe it was button it) but either way that made me think about how I am training him to be able to do things on his own.

I hear from the children’s side often when they talk about parents doing things for them and having boundaries that are not age appropriate (like too strict for the age). When parents do this they are reinforcing a child’s reliance on them. Which is what leads to frustration on the part of the parent and the child. As children reach milestones in life both they and the parent are ready for them to be more responsible and to do things on their own. But how much of that lands on the parent either doing it for them or not training them to do it for themselves.

I know that when I talk to students in schools I tell them that I am already preparing my children to leave the house. I don’t mean that I am pushing them out or even that I will be ready for them to leave when they graduate but I do want them to be as prepared as they possible can. And if my wife and I are not the ones doing the primary preparing then who will?

Parents, I would suggest taking an inventory of what your child is able to do. Then compare that with their age and looking at what other children around them are able to do. Obviously you have to make good parental decisions in this, for example having age appropriate boundaries. With that in mind though, make sure that you are doing all you can to prepare your child for what the future holds. Making sure that your desire to keep them around is not crippling them and the responsibilities they need to have as they grow and mature.

Welcoming a New Year, not dreading it

Well it has been a couple of months but I finally ran my race. I completed the 13.1 miles in less than 2 ½ hours with some of my closest friends. It was a great experience and I would highly recommend it for any of you thinking about running.

Now that I have had a break from that race and have sunk back into bad habits of eating and not running or exercising, I have realized how easy it is to get back into these bad habits. The reality is our nature is to be lazy and to just let things happen to us. When we do this it simply concedes to whatever other people or situations wish for us. However, if we are intentional with our actions, even forcing ourselves to do things that may but difficult but beneficial, we will live much happier and rewarding lives and even have a stronger impact on the lives of those around us. With that in mind here are my suggestions for goals (because resolutions too often fail) for 2010.

- Do things intentionally. This will help you fell much more in control and not like things just happen to you. If you think about things before they happen, researching the possibilities and acting in an informed manor you will be more successful and productive.
- At TL we are faith based. What this means is that we believe in order to live life better, God must be included in whatever is going on. In addition a relationship with his Son Jesus, has a positive infectious effect on your life. Not only benefiting you, but those around you as well.
- Complain less. I found that complaining while running only made things worse. I focused on how hard it was and it made me want to stop. In life if we focus on the negative it makes it harder for us to keep going. If we instead focus on the positive things, or even look for ways to make things positive, we will be much happier where we are and not always looking for a way out.

This is not an end all for how to live, it is only a start. If you have more suggestions for how you have lived life better, leave a comment. You never know the impact it may have on the person that reads it.

What I’ve learned about life from running

I never really thought I’d write something like this. Especially since I hate running. I know hate is a strong word but that’s pretty much how I feel. So why do I run? So I can eat what I want, comradory, and the feeling of accomplishment after finishing a race.
My reasons for running make it hard to come up with life applications. Every time I run I just focus on finishing (a blog for later). All that said here is the first thing I’ve goten out of it.
The more you run the easier it gets. How does this apply? Well in life, the more you experince and the longer you live the more you realize what is important. The more you start to put those things at the forefront of what you focus on.
I have now been running for about 3 years. When I started I could barely make it 2 or 3 miles. The thought of 13.1 miles made me almost sick. But as I worked up and added 1 mile at a time I realized that building gradually I was able to handle the amount of running I had set out to do. In life I’ve seen the same thing. Some people are forced to grow up more quickly causing them to not be able to handle their life quite as easily as if it hadn’t been rushed. I was one of those people. I had to be the man of the house starting in 9th grade. This has caused some problems, both in my relationship with my siblings and now with my own wife and kids. You see what happened was I was forced into a position I was not prepared for and learned to be “the man” in the wrong way. Now some of those wrong ways of handling parenting still exist and I am having to unlearn them and learn the way that my kids need me to be their parent.
In my running I am now able to say I miss it when I don’t get to run and I even say “I’m only running 5 today”, something I never thought I’d say. As I’ve increased mileage I’ve also increased in confidence and have learned that I can run that far. As I grow and mature I’ve learned that I can be who I need to be and that it takes being willing to learn that a little at a time to accomplish being able to keep moving toward the finish without killing myself.
This is only the beginning of what I have learned. I’ll be posting more. Please leave comments, especially ones that promote a Life Lived Better.

New, Exciting news

Teen Lifeline is excited to annonce a new additon to our staff. As of August 15th Chris Hatchett has joined Teen Lifeline as our Executive Director. Having previously served on the TL board, Chris is a welcome additon and will help Teen Lifeline better focus on helping teenagers in our community.

Chris brings 20 years of ministry experience and a passion for helping families in the North Tarrant community and beyond. He has worked with the Richland Hills Church of Christ as Youth Minister and more recently as Spiritual Formation Minister. His role in that and as our Executive Director will complement each other as he is able to utilize resources from both arenas.

Chris is married and has 3 kids of his own. His oldest being a senior and the youngest starting 5th grade this year. He has a lot of life experience to bring to the table to help others deal with the different stages in life.

As we press on Chris hopes to expand our vision and help us accomplish our goal of helping all kinds of teenagers in this community. This will happen through our programs, research, and networking, but also by being accesible to those that need him. If you would like to contact him please call the Teen Lifeline office or email him at hatch@lifelivedbetter.org. You can also read more about him on our staff page by clicking TL Staff.

Help me welcome Chris as we all seek to help teenagers Live Life Better.