What I’ve learned about life from running

I never really thought I’d write something like this. Especially since I hate running. I know hate is a strong word but that’s pretty much how I feel. So why do I run? So I can eat what I want, comradory, and the feeling of accomplishment after finishing a race.
My reasons for running make it hard to come up with life applications. Every time I run I just focus on finishing (a blog for later). All that said here is the first thing I’ve goten out of it.
The more you run the easier it gets. How does this apply? Well in life, the more you experince and the longer you live the more you realize what is important. The more you start to put those things at the forefront of what you focus on.
I have now been running for about 3 years. When I started I could barely make it 2 or 3 miles. The thought of 13.1 miles made me almost sick. But as I worked up and added 1 mile at a time I realized that building gradually I was able to handle the amount of running I had set out to do. In life I’ve seen the same thing. Some people are forced to grow up more quickly causing them to not be able to handle their life quite as easily as if it hadn’t been rushed. I was one of those people. I had to be the man of the house starting in 9th grade. This has caused some problems, both in my relationship with my siblings and now with my own wife and kids. You see what happened was I was forced into a position I was not prepared for and learned to be “the man” in the wrong way. Now some of those wrong ways of handling parenting still exist and I am having to unlearn them and learn the way that my kids need me to be their parent.
In my running I am now able to say I miss it when I don’t get to run and I even say “I’m only running 5 today”, something I never thought I’d say. As I’ve increased mileage I’ve also increased in confidence and have learned that I can run that far. As I grow and mature I’ve learned that I can be who I need to be and that it takes being willing to learn that a little at a time to accomplish being able to keep moving toward the finish without killing myself.
This is only the beginning of what I have learned. I’ll be posting more. Please leave comments, especially ones that promote a Life Lived Better.

New, Exciting news

Teen Lifeline is excited to annonce a new additon to our staff. As of August 15th Chris Hatchett has joined Teen Lifeline as our Executive Director. Having previously served on the TL board, Chris is a welcome additon and will help Teen Lifeline better focus on helping teenagers in our community.

Chris brings 20 years of ministry experience and a passion for helping families in the North Tarrant community and beyond. He has worked with the Richland Hills Church of Christ as Youth Minister and more recently as Spiritual Formation Minister. His role in that and as our Executive Director will complement each other as he is able to utilize resources from both arenas.

Chris is married and has 3 kids of his own. His oldest being a senior and the youngest starting 5th grade this year. He has a lot of life experience to bring to the table to help others deal with the different stages in life.

As we press on Chris hopes to expand our vision and help us accomplish our goal of helping all kinds of teenagers in this community. This will happen through our programs, research, and networking, but also by being accesible to those that need him. If you would like to contact him please call the Teen Lifeline office or email him at hatch@lifelivedbetter.org. You can also read more about him on our staff page by clicking TL Staff.

Help me welcome Chris as we all seek to help teenagers Live Life Better.

Where is your worth found?

This really doesn’t need a lot of introduction. If you have 6 minutes it is well worth your time. If you have a daughter, like I do, it is even more worth your time. As you watch think about how you would share with your daughter, or a daughter you know, the importance of realizing where your worth lies. It is not in how you look, or how popular you are, but rather it is found in something, or someone, outside yourself.

The video disappeared from YouTube but you can find it through the link below.

I AM SECOND – ASHLEY

Don’t let what the world holds up as most important be what drives you. Find something more important and use it as your motivation to be who you know you should be. Let that be what helps you Live Life Better.

Leave a comment about what you think about the video or about what it is that helps you know who you are. Who knows maybe it will help someone else as well.

New times, New Baby

Two things are really on my mind right now.

1. We have a new baby. She will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. We already had 2 boys who we love and are the best ever but she completes our desire in having kids by being our baby girl. It reminds me of a couple of things. First, how much being a parent is about being selfless. I am reminded every day how much I have to give to take care of my kids, not because I have to but because I choose to and I love them more than I want to do what I want to do. Second, it is tough. I don’t want to be selfless all of the time. Sometimes (okay a lot) I want to do what I want to do. It is hard sometimes to remember that I don’t get to do that anymore and so I keep giving, again because I want to, not because I am being made to.

2. Our world is changing so fast. Things always change a lot, but we really are in a time when things are really changing. From MySpace to Facebook to Twitter and hundreds more, our world is so saturated with information and messages sometimes it is hard to filter through it all. This is not about finding out how to do that, but a suggestion to parents to make sure that you set the foundation for your kids before they start (which is very early). As a parent our job is to be proactive in helping our kids grow up. If we give them nothing before they jump into the world of media, we will fail because they will be so overwhelmed. The foundation must be set starting at day one. To do this you must know what your foundation is and then pass it on.

As you read through this you problem thought about the first moments with one of your kids and hopefully about what your foundation is. Share those thoughts and memories and help the rest of us work harder at better ourselves for the good of our kids.

Being A Parent

As Teen Lifeline continues to work with teens, there is that ever present parent factor. You know the one where you wish you could say just the right thing to the parent to help them better connect and guide their child(ren). A couple of things bring this home for me. I spent an hour or so at the CareNow clinic this weekend so that my 17 month old could get stitches for trying to fight with the bed frame (he lost). So he now has 4 stitches right between the eyes, which I am sure will be a scar to proudly show friends one day. Amid all that went into that happening, the nurse was putting a Sponge Bob band aid on his nose. As she did she asked if he liked Sponge Bob (to which I thought, really he is way too young). Good thing I didn’t say anything because she followed that with saying her 18 month old really likes it. I was a little stunned. Not enough to react but still stunned. Here her child can’t even talk yet and is already being influenced by Sponge Bob. I am not a fanatic against SB but the episodes I have seen tend to promote bad attitude and rude comments at the least. And one day she will wonder why her child has such a bad attitude and is so sarcastic, hmm let me guess.
The second was at the mall today. It was very much a first impression and so a judgement on my part. However, even if it didn’t apply here it does in other situations I’ve seen. My wife and I were eating at the food court with our boys and a family walked by. The mom was very lazily holding her baby and goofing off with whoever was with her. My wife and I looked at each other just thinking about, if she would hold the baby like that how well does she really care for it. Like I said this isn’t necessarily the case but there are definitely cases like that where parents really don’t care for their children well. The hard thing is it gets so much worse as they grow into teenagers and the repercussions are that too many times the cycle is repeated rather than avoided.
So for you parents out there that are looking for some help, here is one resource. A book by Dr. Walt Mueller that I have begun reading. It is called The Space Between. Just real quickly I want to wet your appetite for finding out more. At the end of chapter two he outlines what a parents job is. He says,

“My job as a parent is to seize the God-given opportunity to come alongside my kids, encourage and help them to make good decisions, support them, teach them, pray for them, and help them prioritize their “plates” so they can move through adolescence and on into the independence of a God-glorifying adulthood. In effect, parents are to gradually ease their children into taking ownership of their own lives.” (The Space Between, p. 35)

The thing is this should be a relief, but for so many parents it is not. They want to hold on and help their little ones as long as possible and then when they are ready to let go the child is still that, a child and doesn’t know what to do. Even as my oldest turns 3 I am already thinking about what I am doing to help him take ownership of his own life.

So here is my question for you as a parent, what are you doing to release your child rather than trying to shelter them? How can you start now preparing your son or daughter for the day that they will launch into their own future? The goal for them, and you, is to have a Life Lived Better.

Parenting from the Teen Perspective

I want to share what I experienced the last two weeks. As I spoke to students last week the subject of parents kept coming up. Two groups independently wanted to address the topic and so we did. As we talked I realized that the students needed to get this out, so we continued the discussion this week.

The topic of parents is not an easy one to address. As a new parent myself I have already made many mistakes and had to apologize even to my 3 year old about my inability as a parent (specifically, getting angry over nothing and not handling things correctly). As I sought to help these students vent their frustrations, I hoped to help focus them as well on what would be helpful for them to know about dealing with parents.

Here are the questions that I used to help lead the discussion:
What is your purpose in life?
What is your parents purpose for your life?
What things are your parents doing to help you succeed?
What about things that are in the way of you succeeding?
What would you do differently than your parents have done?
How do you deal with not being able to control your parents?
What can you learn from situations you are in with your parents?

In order to not make this too long I will hit the highlights.

The first thing I noticed was that about half of the students have at least an idea of what their “purpose” is. All I wanted them to do was think about the possibility of a purpose for their life and several had. The sad thing was almost all of those said their parents had a different plan for their life than what they were thinking and that the ones that couldn’t verbalize a purpose did know what their parents plan was. Don’t get me wrong this isn’t all bad. I think it is great for these parents to let their kids know their expectations. The problem is, the fact that teens didn’t know what they wanted to do themselves says to me that parents don’t ask that either, they just tell what they want.

Secondly, almost all of the students could come up with ideas for what they would do different from their parents. The problem is that most of them will not follow through. Why is that? I believe because they don’t think they really can or don’t see any reason to (goes back to the purpose question.) They will do what many of us do and fall back into what we know. So how do we change that? Teen Lifeline is hoping that these groups and in the future working with parents will stop the cycle of bad parenting and start helping the next generations know how to parent well.

Finally, I have a question. How do we balance the fact that teens are immature but yet need to grow up? I believe this balance is possible by having a mix of boundaries and responsibilities that teenagers know and accept. This is complicated when you have multiple teens and the boundaries and responsibilities needs to be different for each one. That is why it is up to the parents and why Teen Lifeline is looking for ways to help equip parents to have the tools they need to find that right balance.

As I have been doing these groups about parents I have also been reading a good book about parenting. It is called The Space Between by Walt Mueler. Take the time to find it at a store or on Amazon.com and then read it or something like it. It will help you be a better parent and may even help your kids be better teenagers. Allowing you both to Live Life Better.

Columbine Redemption

Well I am finally sitting down to write a blog about our Columbine Redemption event this past Saturday night. For starters here are some comments I heard after the event was over, (not necessarily quoted word for word)

“WOW, that was awesome!”

“We really need to have this at our school.”

“When is Darrell coming back?”

“What an amazing story!”

“I wish more people had been here to hear this.”

Well you just may get your chance. TL is already looking at the possibility of bringing a speaker from CR back to the area in the fall. In order to pull this off we need to get people on board sooner than later, so if you are interested in being involved leave a comment and let me know.

As for the evening, it was great! We had a good crowd and Darrell, of course, shared an amazing story. I have already posted in an earlier blog about what I heard at Richland High School Rachel’s Challenge Assembly but I want to share what stood out this time just the same.

Here are just a couple of highlights from this presentation. First, Darrell is amazing to listen to. To think that he, as a father, is able to share their story (the story of the death of his daughter) is amazing. His strength, or as he would say his weakness and strength in Christ, is amazing to see and hear. Second, I love that he only shares facts and truths from his own story. He does not make judgements on the shooters, he does not share frustrations he faced toward media or administration, etc. He only shares the faith that Rachel has and how it has impacted his family, in successes and failures. Third, is simply Rachel’s amazing faith. She exemplified what it is to be a Christian, even befriending a very anti-religious (self-proclaimed) student that would argue with almost anyone else…except Rachel.

These just a few, there is so much more. If you get a chance you definitely want to see a presentation by Columbine Redemption, you NEED to take it. If you have a chance and you don’t take someone with you, you will regret it and eagerly wait for the next opportunity you have to share it with someone, anyone, who hasn’t heard it.

If you have the time check out there website to learn more, here it is again www.columbineredemption.com. Or search YouTube and search for Rachel’s Challenge.

Side note: Be sure to browse our website. It is new as of May 8th, redesigned by The Marketing Twins and it is really cool. Any feedback is also greatly appreciated as we continue to update, maintain, and improve what we now have.

An Offering of Hope

As Teen Lifeline looks for news ways to impact the community we have been given a great opportunity to see a difference made. This spring area schools hosted a speaking program called Rachel’s Challenge. Carroll ISD and Richland High School have hosted this program and have been greatly impacted by the story that is told. After hearing this presentation at RHS I knew that it was something Teen Lifeline wanted to be involved in in the future. Little did I know it would be this soon. In talking to the staff at Rachel’s Challenge, we decided to do a couple of things that fit best for us.
Being a faith based organization ourselves, we decided to go with the faith based side of their organization which is Columbine Redemption. This is the same story but also tells of the faith that has helped the Scott family get through.

Please join us this Saturday for an amazing presentation by Darrell Scott, father to Rachel one of the Columbine victims. We will be at the Richland Hills Church @ 7:00 PM.

If you have a story to share about a connection you have to Columbine share it in the comments. After this weekend I will post how things go and ask for feedback from those of you that attended.

Continuing the pursuit of a Life Lived Better.